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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30131238">Routine Maintenance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegrenadier/pseuds/pomegrenadier'>pomegrenadier</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Knife to a Gunfight [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cybernetics, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Introspection, Past Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:31:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30131238</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegrenadier/pseuds/pomegrenadier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cipher Nine has a bad moment shortly after the Shadow Arsenal.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Past Hunter (Star Wars: The Old Republic)/Male Imperial Agent | Cipher Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Knife to a Gunfight [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Routine Maintenance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His heart rate is elevated. Every beat is too loud, too much, impossible to ignore. He wants it to go back to doing its job without drawing attention to itself like this.</p><p>He stands up, shoves himself over to the desk, and pulls out a toolkit with hands that are shaking just enough to be noticeable.</p><p>There are cameras in his head. There are always cameras in his head. That's how he sees. They're not transmitting to anything, receiving from anywhere. They <em>can't.</em> Imperial Intelligence erred on the side of paranoia rather than expedience. No one can control them but him. This isn't rational.</p><p>Yes, it is. It's completely fucking rational. Hunter took them in order to hurt him. (It didn't hurt. What Hunter did never actually hurt.) Hunter had them in his possession for hours at a time, while he was unable to act. Hunter could have done anything to the cameras in his head.</p><p>His heartbeat is too loud.</p><p>He removes the left lens first. Takes it apart, piece by piece. Cleans and inspects every single one. Familiar as field-stripping a rifle or sharpening a knife. Nothing is missing. Nothing is there that shouldn't be.</p><p>He uses the small mirror in the toolkit to examine the port in the corresponding eye socket. Nothing. No damage, no modifications, no unwanted additions. Nothing.</p><p>That he can find.</p><p>He's breathing too fast. He's still shaking.</p><p>There's a noise from the hallway. He's on his feet with his blaster pointed at the door before he can consciously think about it. The door is still sealed. Locked. Only he has the codes. They can't get in.</p><p>He holds his breath. His heartbeat is too loud.</p><p>(This is a trauma reaction, he thinks, distant, detached. Shut up, Watcher X, he thinks.)</p><p>He starts laughing, almost silent. He lowers the blaster, covers his mouth with one hand. No need to pretend that Watcher X is helping him anymore. He didn't need help. It was all in his head. He checked. The implants the real Watcher X put in him can't transmit or receive data, either. He <em>checked.</em> He's functionally crazy, not technologically compromised. He escaped. It's over. The Watcher X his mind thought up to pretend he wasn't alone sounded like Watcher X, not like him.</p><p>The buzz of the door chime hits him like Force lightning.</p><p>It's locked. It's fine. It's just one of the crew. Allies. Never trustworthy, but not the enemy, for now. Kaliyo and Lokin would try to kill him if they saw an advantage in it, but there currently is not. Temple wouldn't unless she thought it was necessary, but he hasn't done anything to make it necessary that she knows about. Vector might not even then. He'd rather have allies who might kill him than allies who can unlock his door.</p><p>They can't get in unless he lets them.</p><p>"Sir?"</p><p>Temple.</p><p>"Sir, could I have a word, please?"</p><p>He takes a breath. "One moment," he says, and he engages the safety of the blaster pistol, stows it, and moves towards the door.</p><p>He unlocks it. It hisses open. Temple is standing just outside. Her expression is initially its too-keen baseline. It flickers into horror before she schools it back to a more brittle professionalism.</p><p>Oh. Right. One optical implant is lying disassembled on the desk.</p><p>It is suddenly very hard to care, even for the sake of keeping up appearances.</p><p>"What is it, Ensign," he says. His voice is flat. It doesn't shake. It doesn't do much of anything else, either.</p><p>"I ..." Temple trails off. "Is this a bad time?"</p><p>"It could be better."</p><p>She is carefully studying his nose, his forehead, anything but the metal in his eye sockets. "I'll come back later, then," she says, almost a question.</p><p>He pulls his mouth into a smile that feels unnatural, strained. It's probably the wrong smile for this situation. He doesn't <em>care</em>. "Thank you for your patience," he says.</p><p>He locks the door.</p><p>Exhale, hold, inhale, hold, repeat until the screaming in his head is down to a dull roar. He goes back to the desk, lowers himself into the chair. He puts the pieces back together. Clicks and locks the reassembled implant into place. He pulls the right and starts again.</p><p>He manages to forget his own heartbeat, eventually.</p>
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